The Transformative Power of Coaching
I once told a friend I felt like I should have a one-woman performance called This is Life, where I stood on stage and threw shit at the audience. She asked me if it was actual shit or chocolate. I’m still not sure of the answer to that question, but what I do know is that sh*t happens in this life; things don’t turn out the way we thought they would, we strive and sometimes we fail, and sometimes we feel like we’re trapped under the pile and we can’t see a way out. Other times, life can be bursting with joy, creativity, collaboration and zest. I think it’s safe to say that most of us want more of the good stuff and less of the crap.
Personally, I’ve juggled a variety of challenges. I’ve stayed in jobs I didn’t like, worked with leaders who didn’t know how to hold power, and had a couple of big career transitions and setbacks. I’ve been a lone parent, have been supporting a neurodivergent kid, and have been in debt after the breakup of a partnership.
I’ve failed, been heartbroken, disappointed and stuck with things that didn’t feel great because I had obligations. I’ll say it—there have been times that felt dark and hopeless, and there have been times I struggled with anxiety and crushing life stressors. And, you know what, I’ve also had moments of pure chocolate joy and kickass.
“Imagine what would be possible if all of us were bringing hope, rather than fear, to everything we did?!”
Despite all the challenges, I have raised two awesome kids who are making their way in this world with grace. I’ve run my own communications practice where I worked with some incredible people and organizations trying to make the world a better place. I’ve managed to follow my intuition to make some smart investment moves and am now the proud owner of a farm in Grey County while I continue to be an active member of my community in downtown Toronto.
The best part? I did it on my own terms. I’ll chalk it up to 1/3 grit, 1/3 community and…yup, 1/3 having a couple of excellent coaches on my side.
These coaches helped me to experience that when we are guided by our values, work to get out from under feelings of shame, shed the “supposed to’s” and take steps (no matter how small) to move towards what we feel is right for us, it is truly extraordinary what we can accomplish.
Sure, I’ve been to therapy too—but coaching was different. I’d spent a long time working through old stories (some of which were pretty lame). I’ve always been a “planner” and very goal-oriented (this is where that 1/3 grit and 1/3 intuitive comes in), but I needed someone to help me build a vision for how I wanted to feel, how I wanted to show up, and who I was without the sh*tty spin on my stories.
A coach helped me integrate all of these and held me accountable. It felt hopeful, proactive and what I learned in the process helps me to this day to be more resilient and to respond in more helpful ways when sh*t does happen.
After a good long run with my communications practice that was about big “S” systems change, I found myself getting more and more interested in how principles of systems transformation could impact us at the personal level. I wondered if it wasn’t possible that we could make the big changes we need to see in the world if we could let go of what makes us afraid and holds us back at the personal level. I started researching leadership, psychological health and safety and positive psychology, and working with clients to develop evidence-based programs, curriculum and trainings that build resilience, increase trust and communication and generally make workplace culture more positive—and now, I’m a certified coach and facilitator.
The power I see in coaching to facilitate transformation is that it empowers people and guides them in a process where they let go of the thinking and behaviours that are holding them back so they can get to where they want to go. People who seek out coaching often come with an easy to articulate leadership challenge or a general feeling of dissatisfaction. Others are looking to simply amp up their game. What they all walk away with is new awareness of what matters most and a roadmap for moving forward in a way that respects who they are and how they want to show up.
Of course, each person’s journey through coaching is different and there’s no cookie-cutter. My role as a coach is to listen, reflect back what I hear and sense is really going on. I guide my clients in a process that helps them look at the issues at hand in a different way, and to better understand the role they play and what is within their influence. Together, we explore how they can move forward in a way that feels most authentic to them. Unlike therapy, we don’t unpack the past, we look forward to create a vision for what they want and a plan to get there.
“Each person’s journey through coaching is different and there’s no cookie-cutter.”
If you’re up for the challenge, your coaching journey will uncover barriers in how you are thinking, feeling and acting and where these ways of being come from—but we won’t sit in that space or re-hash it. Coaching is about what you want to create and making it happen. Sure, we’ll identify and explore how you can move past old ways of showing up, but this is about developing a clearly defined vision, stretching to get there, and experiencing a sense of deep engagement and flourishing.
I became a coach because I believe extraordinary things are possible, and I believe each of us has our own unique brand of extraordinary. There’s nothing better than helping people see it and live it. You’ll find that when you tap into your strengths, bring your quirk and the (hard) lessons you’ve learned, it not only feels good, but it can transform entire systems for the better—and, man, do we need that in the world right about now. Imagine what would be possible if all of us were bringing hope, rather than fear, to everything we did?!
